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Coping with your baby crying
One of the challenges of becoming a parent can be caring for a crying baby. Your brain is designed to find your baby’s cry uncomfortable. It is normal for babies to cry — it’s how they let us know they need something — and the crying will stop, even if it feels endless in the moment. Some babies cry more than others, and that’s okay too. Know that your baby isn’t trying to punish you, or that you aren’t a good enough parent. Lots of parents have these worries.
Figuring out what they need can be hard and sometimes stressful, so be kind to yourself. Babies often start crying more from around two weeks old, and it can simply be part of their development. But if you’re ever worried your little one might be unwell, it’s always best to get medical advice. You’re doing your best, and that’s what matters.
Why your baby might be crying
It can be helpful to think about your baby’s cry as them trying to talk to you.
The most common reasons for crying are:
- hunger
- a dirty or wet nappy
- tiredness
- wanting a cuddle
- wind
- being too hot or too cold
- boredom
- overstimulation
How can you help your baby
The below comfort methods can sometimes help to soothe baby.
- Talk calmly, hum or sing to your baby
- Let them hear a repeating or soothing sound
- Hold them close – skin to skin
- Go for a walk outside with your baby
- Give them a warm bath
This may not always work, and you might need to keep trying different things to help.
If you’ve checked everything, your baby isn’t unwell, and you’ve tried all the usual ways to soothe them, but you can feel yourself hitting that “I can’t do this anymore” moment — it’s completely okay to take a breather.
As long as your baby is safe, stepping away for a few minutes is ok. The crying will stop, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.
Give yourself a moment to reset, breathe and calm down. After a few minutes, go back in and check on your little one. You’re doing your best — and that’s enough.
What not to do
It is natural to feel overwhelmed when a baby won’t stop crying, but handling them roughly, shouting or getting angry will only make them more upset. Sometimes, when the frustration becomes too much, people act on impulse — and shaking a baby is incredibly dangerous. It can cause serious injuries such as blindness, learning disabilities, seizures, long-term physical problems or even death.
The most important thing to remember is this: never, ever shake or hurt a baby.
If you feel yourself getting too overwhelmed, it is okay to put the baby down somewhere safe and take a moment to calm yourself. You are not alone, help is out there, see below links to websites and organisations.
Useful Resources
NHS website
Visit the NHS website for a range of support, tips and advice on caring for your crying baby.
Caring for your crying baby - ICON
Cry-sis (Crying/sleepless)
Support for parents with crying and sleepless babies, with a helpline open seven days a week.
0800 448 0737 lines open 7 days a week, 9am-10pm
ICON
Visit the ICON website for support and guidance on how to cope with crying babies.
ICON: Babies cry, you can cope
An online baby Togetherness pathway
Written by Psychologists, Psychotherapists, Health Visitors and NHS Professionals. ‘Understanding Your Baby’ is a course for everyone around the baby, supporting you and your new arrival. It is part of a series of Solihull Approach courses for different age groups. Go to www.togetherness.co.uk to create an account and access for free by entering the access code: RIVINGTON (subject to change).